NY and NJ divorce lawyer Paul Goldhamer, Esq. is a founding partner of Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman, with office locations in Bergen County, New Jersey and Rockland County, New York. Among many other awards and citations Mr. Goldhamer has accrued over the years, Superlawyers.com honored Paul with its prestigious “Super Lawyer” designation in 2014. When not practicing law, Mr. Goldhamer keeps busy with speaking engagements, media outreach and charitable services.
From Paul Goldhamer, Esq.:
RETIREMENT: Do you wonder if your support obligations can cease upon retirement?
Another good job by KGG:
“The motion judge considered that defendant was seventy-five. He also considered defendant’s health, and noted he had cardiac problems, a pacemaker, was hospitalized for cardiac arrhythmia, and required thirteen different medications. Plaintiff did not rebut this evidence. In her certifications, plaintiff provided the judge a description of her recurring health conditions. She stated she had a “decreased level of energy which accompanies the age of [seventy,]” suffered from arthritis for the past forty-five years, had been hard of hearing since the age of five, and suffered from depression since her forties. Plaintiff also certified she had other long lasting issues, including sleep apnea, diabetes, a thyroid-condition, and memory loss….The decision to terminate alimony on the basis of defendant’s retirement was supported by sufficient credible evidence in the record. The motion judge’s application of N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23(j)(3) was not an abuse of discretion….Affirmed.”
Frangipani v. Frangipani, New Jersey App. Div., February 19, 2019
Social Security can be an important benefit for older people because it supplies income once one has retired. In general, people become eligible at the age of 62, although benefits taken then are lower than they will be at full retirement age (FRA). FRA is reached between 65 and 67, depending on the year of their birth. (For people born between 1943 and 1954, for example, the FRA is 66.) The Social Security benefit amount rises roughly 8% per year if you work and contribute longer, up to the age of 70. There is no increase past the age of 70.
Will a divorce impact your Social Security benefits? Yes, there are multiple impacts, depending on your situation. Length of the marriage, whether you have worked, how much you made vis-à-vis your spouse, and remarriage are all factors that can affect your benefits.
If Your Spouse Is Eligible for a Higher Benefit
In general, the higher-earning spouse is eligible for a higher benefit, as Social Security benefits are on a sliding scale based on one’s earnings.
If you are divorced, you may be able to collect Social Security benefits based on the work record of a higher-earning spouse, provided that you 1) are not currently married; 2) were married to the spouse for a minimum of 10 years; 3) both of you are at least 62 years old; 4) they are eligible for Social Security; and 5) you have been divorced for a minimum of two years.
The spouse doesn’t have to have taken Social Security for you to be eligible. If your spouse has remarried, there is no effect on your Social Security benefit rights, or that of the spouse and their new spouse.
Bear in mind that you may receive only half of your divorced spouse’s Social Security benefit if you take benefits before your FRA.
If You Are Eligible for a Higher Benefit
If you are eligible for a higher benefit, you will receive your own Social Security benefit rather than your spouse’s. No one can receive both their own Social Security benefit payments and that of a spouse. You will automatically receive the higher of the benefits.
If You Remarry
If you have remarried since you divorced, you are not eligible for a divorced spouse’s benefit unless your remarriage ends as well. If it does, and both marriages lasted over a decade, you will can receive the larger of the two ex-spouse’s Social Security benefit.
If Your Divorced Spouse Dies
If your divorced spouse dies, you are eligible for survivor benefits as long as your marriage lasted 10 years. If it did not, you are not eligible for survivor benefits.
Survivor benefits are equal to what your ex-spouse would have received had they lived.
If you marry again before the age of 60, you will lose your eligibility unless that marriage ends. Remarriage after you’re 60 has no effect on survivor benefits.
If You Need a Divorce Attorney in New York or New Jersey
Because all these factors are complex and variable, it is a good idea to consult a lawyer to make sure you know what Social Security benefits you are entitled to.
At Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman, divorce lawyers have been helping clients in New York and New Jersey for over four decades. Call us today to schedule a consultation.
- Miller, Jim T. How Divorce Can Affect Your Social Security. Huffington Post. January 23, 2014. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/jim-t-miller/how-divorce-can-affect-yo_b_4251411.html.
- Thornton, Russ. How Divorced Women Can Get More From Social Security. Wealthcare for Women. December 4, 2012. https://wealthcareforwomen.com/divorced-women-social-security/.
The new year ushered in big changes in the federal tax law – one that now impact alimony payments. While the change directly affects how alimony is treated, it is expected to indirectly influence the way other settlement and divorce divisions are implemented as well.
Tax burden shifts under new tax law
Historically, the party paying alimony (the higher-earning spouse, who is the man in 97% of divorces) was permitted to deduct the payments for federal income tax purposes. The recipient then received the payments as taxable income. The Tax Cuts and Jobs Act reversed this, with the payer of the alimony bearing the tax burden and the recipient receiving the payments tax-free.
It is important to note that this change is not retroactive; it only applies to divorce agreements finalized or modified in 2019 or later. The old tax rules still apply to divorce and settlement agreements that were finalized by the end of December 2018. If former spouses who divorced before 2019 wish to proceed under the new tax structure, they may do so if they both agree and enter into a modification agreement.
Widespread effects of alimony tax change
The former tax structure of alimony payments has traditionally played a major role in divorce settlement negotiations. Because the payer received the tax deduction, it typically made it advantageous to both exes for the alimony payments to be higher.
By shifting the tax burden to the paying spouse, on the surface the change may appear to primarily benefit the lower-income spouse (who is more often the woman). However, the shift makes the payment more costly to the payer, and conceivably will lead to lower negotiated alimony payments to the recipient.
Knowing about the tax change in advance, there are other financial planning options that divorcing couples can take to compensate for the effects. For example, changing the way property is treated in the settlement agreement may reduce the impact of the alimony tax. For some couples, the child tax credit may also provide some relief. However, it is hazardous to become creative in your settlement terms without the help of a knowledgeable lawyer; to be treated as alimony, payments must meet certain requirements or they could be characterized as child support or something else.
NY and NJ court response remains to be seen
Many former couples come to an agreement on settlement terms, which are then formally entered by a court. When the couple cannot agree, they may head to litigation and leave it to judges, magistrates, and mediators to hash out. There is no indication yet of whether jurists will factor in the tax changes in issuing spousal support decrees. Having a well-prepared and experienced attorney is the best way to minimize the uncertainty.
Law changes can always cause a period of uncertainty in divorce proceedings. If you are anticipating a divorce in Bergen County, New Jersey, or in Rockland County, New York, trust an experienced divorce lawyer from Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman, an established firm that has successfully navigated many changes over the past 40 years. Call today to schedule a confidential consultation.
- MarketWatch, New tax law eliminates alimony deductions – but not for everyone, https://www.marketwatch.com/story/new-tax-law-eliminates-alimony-deductions-but-not-for-everybody-2018-01-23
- CNBC, How to manage your divorce as new alimony tax rules go into effect, https://www.cnbc.com/2018/12/18/this-checklist-can-help-you-manage-your-divorce-after-new-alimony-tax-rules-go-into-effect.html
After the emotional roller coaster of a divorce, settling into a new normal can come as a relief. Starting to date again may be a key step that helps you move forward. However, there are plenty of things you can do when you start dating after divorce that can torpedo the experience. Here are some hard-learned lessons from others who have been through re-entering the singles scene.
Learn how to flirt again
We fall into communication habits with people we spend a lot of time with. For someone who has been married for a length of time, the flirtation muscles may not have been exercised in years. Practice them in everyday, nonthreatening places like in line at the bank or waiting for library checkout.
Be yourself, whether that means cracking a joke to the next person in line or offering him or her a compliment. When it comes to flirting, non-verbal cues are key. Smile, but not desperately. Stand close, but not too close. It may take a few practice rounds but flirting will become natural again.
Do not trash your ex
It is natural to feel self-conscious about a former marriage, and this can lead to over-compensating in order to let a prospective mate know that you were not the bad guy. But saying negative things about your ex can have the opposite effect. Not only can it signal an unattractive and unhealthy preoccupation with the past, it can lead your date to wonder whether you can focus on the current relationship rather than dwell on the past.
Wait until the divorce is final
Jumping into a new relationship might sound like a great way to take your mind off your divorce, but not waiting until the divorce is final can create problems. It can lead to questions about the timing of the relationship and suspicions of adultery. It can even lead to your new mate being called as a witness. Best to be patient and avoid these issues.
Take it slow if you have children
Professionals agree that it can be unfair to children to introduce them to a boyfriend or girlfriend before things are serious. While getting a taste of just how many fish there are in the sea can seem like a great way to get over your ex, viewing a parent with a parade of love interests is often confusing for children and leads to hurt feelings when relationships end. Take your children’s feelings into account and consider not introducing a date until you have a sense that this one could be a long-term fixture in the family.
Get expert guidance through your NY or NJ divorce
Going through a divorce can be physically and emotionally draining. Put your trust in an experienced divorce lawyer who has been through the process many times. The Bergen County, NJ divorce lawyers at Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman are here to help you understand the divorce process, from state filing requirements to division of assets to child custody issues. Call today to schedule a consultation.
Additional resources for dating after a divorce:
- Divorce Magazine, 3 Reasons to Wait for Your Divorce to Be Finalized Before Dating, https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/reasons-to-wait-for-your-divorce-to-be-finalized-before-dating/
- Metro Parent, 9 Rules for Parents Interested in Dating After Divorce, https://www.metroparent.com/daily/parenting/divorce-family-law/dating-kids/
A divorce can be a long road; you and your attorney will be working together for the length of the proceeding, anywhere from six weeks to a year, and possibly after that if the order needs enforcement action.
Having a good rapport with your attorney ensures you will communicate effectively, easing the process and helping to ensure you are working toward the same goal. Here are some things to ask a prospective divorce attorney to see if he or she is a good fit for you.
Not all legal experience is of the same value. Not all lawyers practice family law, and those who do may not all handle divorces. Even among divorce lawyers, some may have experience with specific issues or types of clients and their related needs. For example, you may prefer a lawyer who has handled many divorces involving members of the military, hospital employees, or other situations that involves special types of retirement benefits. Consider asking:
- How long have you been practicing family law?
- How much of your practice is dedicated to divorce?
- How many cases like mine have you handled?
- How many of your cases have you taken to trial?
It is important know that you and your attorney see eye-to-eye on the plan for your case. While your attorney may have to tell you things you do not like to hear, make sure you have compatible visions for the case.
- What is your plan to accomplish my goals?
- Are there preemptive actions I should take before filing?
- If I have a choice in jurisdiction, what are the advantages and disadvantages of each? Would a collaborative or other non-traditional approach be beneficial?
Cost can play a significant role in some of the choices you make. Your overall satisfaction with the process will be much greater if you ask detailed questions to gain a clear understanding of the costs involved from the very start. It is usually not possible to give a definite answer at the start of a case, but these kinds of questions should give you an idea of what the divorce will cost you.
- What are your retainer cost and hourly billing rates?
- What other fees will be involved?
- What is the total cost you anticipate?
- Do you offer alternative or flexible payment options?
The big-picture questions are important but it is the daily handling of your case that will give you some sense of control over the situation. Try to gain an understanding of how responsive the attorney will be to your needs.
- Who will be available to answer my calls?
- Who in your office will work on my case?
- How quickly will you return phone calls?
Divorce lawyers serving New York and New Jersey
If you are contemplating a divorce, call the dedicated NY and NJ divorce lawyers at Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman. With offices in Rockland County, NY, and Bergen County, NJ, we have helped clients all over New York and New Jersey for the past 40 years.
Call (888) 624-4916 today to schedule a confidential consultation.
- NY Courts, Divorce Basics, https://www.nycourts.gov/courthelp/family/divorceBasics.shtml
- org, Divorce: New Jersey, http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_type.php?id=187&state_code=NJ
If you are thinking about filing for divorce, it’s important to know how to let your spouse know it. In some couples, the idea of divorce may be in one partner’s mind, but far from the other’s. In others, there may be dissatisfaction or even counseling and separation, but not an agreement on divorce.
There are two aspects to letting your spouse know: the emotional and the legal.
You need to let your spouse know respectfully that you are filing for divorce. First, you need to choose a place and time when you will have some time to discuss your plans. It needs to be a place where you can talk privately and without interruption, especially by phones, other adults, or your children.
Second, plan what you will say. You will to make it clear that you are moving ahead with divorce. Never equivocate. The break has to be clearly stated, or arguments can ensue, especially if your spouse doesn’t want to divorce or is highly anxious or agitated about the prospect.
Third, never blame your spouse during the discussion. That only lays the groundwork for recrimination later on. You must separate for the happiness of both should be your message.
Fourth, if possible, emphasize your desire to reach a fair settlement in terms of spousal support and children.
Can I File for Divorce Without Notifying My Spouse?
Note that the initial discussion is just for information between you and a spouse. It has no legal standing.
For divorce proceedings to begin, you will need to visit an attorney specializing in divorce or family law.
Sometimes, we are asked if a divorce filing can be done without notifying a spouse. While it is possible to begin the proceedings without notification, a spouse must eventually be served court papers, called a divorce petition or summons, that indicate a divorce action is pending in court.
These papers must be filed in the appropriate court, and are then served to the spouse.
There are several ways to serve these papers, including via mail, a process server, or hand delivery by a person neither yourself nor one of your children. Your lawyer can advise you as to the customary method.
One of the points of serving the papers is so the spouse can respond if the divorce is to be contested.
If You Need a Divorce Lawyer in New York or New Jersey
If you need a Rockland County divorce lawyer, Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman have been helping clients with divorce and related processes in New York and New Jersey for more than 40 years.
If talks with your spouse are not viable, we can negotiate and fight for your rights via litigation.
We are here to guide you through a range of issues, such as child custody, visitation rights, child support, alimony and spousal support, division of marital assets, modification after divorce, parental relocation, and conservatorships.
- Dillon, Cheryl. “How To Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce.” Equitable Mediation. https://www.equitablemediation.com/blog/how-to-ask-your-spouse-for-a-divorce.
- Margulies, Sam. “Telling Your Spouse You Want a Divorce.” Psychology Today. November 12, 2009. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/divorce-grownups/200911/telling-your-spouse-you-want-divorce.
- Women’sDivorce.com. How To Serve Divorce Papers. https://www.womansdivorce.com/how-to-serve-divorce-papers.html.
Bergen County divorce lawyer Paul Goldhamer, Esq. is a founding partner at the NY & NJ law firm of Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman. Mr. Goldhamer was selected by the prestigious Superlawyers.com as a “Super Lawyer” in 2014 for his work in matrimonial law and estate law. Mr. Goldhamer also keeps busy with teaching, lecturing, charity work and as a guest on various media outlets.
From Paul Goldhamer, Esq.:
The new Tax Law, Divorce & Business Valuations:
There are reasons to delay a dissolution. Tax-driven divorce issues require caution. One is how private businesses should be valued. This has always been an important component of divorce settlements.
But the new tax law increases the cash flow of certain pass-through entities — businesses where the taxes on the earnings are paid by the owner, not the company — in a way that may raise their value. With increased cash flow and reduced taxes, a business could have a substantial increase in value. The Forensic Accountants will have to examine the result. A family owned business is almost always the most contested asset in a divorce.
It affects many issues: child support, alimony & sometimes Equitable Distribution. You must get the valuation done correctly. Higher cash flow from the change in the tax law this year will not be known until the business owner files a tax return next year. The difference can be big or small. A good accountant can run the numbers both ways. But, not knowing that exact valuation throws more uncertainty into the negotiations. So for couples going through a divorce now, and expecting a big increase in the value of their business next year, it might be better to postpone.
New York & New Jersey divorce lawyer Paul Goldhamer, Esq. is a co-founding partner at the law firm of Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman. When not practicing matrimonial and estate law in NY & NJ, Mr. Goldhamer packs a busy schedule with charitable efforts, lecturing, TV & radio appearances and more. Paul was named a “Super Lawyer” by Superlawyers.com in 2014.
From Paul Goldhamer, Esq.:
Prenuptial Agreements & the Tax Law Change:
Prenuptial Agreements drafted prior to 2019 are in jeopardy. The deductibility of Spousal Support payments are in question.
It is common in prenuptial documents for lawyers to insert language calculating alimony (or Spousal Support) and stating the alimony payments are deductible by the Payor.
But the Tax Law has changed. Alimony or Spousal Support is no longer tax deductible after Dec. 31st, 2018.
Lawyers cannot know whether these clauses will hold up in 2019 and beyond. On one hand, you have a written contract, but can you count on its validity? Without a court ruling, or direction from the I.R.S., the deduction might not be valid if alimony is no longer deductible. A married couple might want to consider renegotiating the agreement, even if it might be a tough conversation.
Call Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman. We know how to fix this.
Deciding to initiate the divorce process is a major step, regardless if you and your soon-to-be ex are on good terms or not.
While most couples facing the end of a marriage want to move on with their lives as swiftly as possible, there are several factors that will determine the length of a divorce proceeding, such as where you live, how congested the family law courts are in your area, and whether the divorce is contested or uncontested.
Primary factors that affect a divorce timeline
There is no definitive time frame for divorce in New Jersey, but couples who cooperate on financial matters, property division and issues concerning child custody tend to reach the finish line faster.
Is the divorce uncontested?
Without question, an uncontested divorce proceeding will finish much faster than a divorce where couples are fighting over spousal support, who gets the house, child custody and other matters. In an uncontested divorce, both parties have come to a complete agreement on every detail of the split. This includes everything from alimony and child visitation to tax liabilities and division of marital property. It’s important to keep in mind that both parties should enlist the services of a qualified divorce attorney, even in amicable break-ups. This ensures that legal documents are drafted correctly, and the process is moves efficiently through the court system.
Generally speaking, a no-fault fault divorce — or uncontested filing — in New Jersey can take anywhere from two to three and a half months, from start to finish.
A contested divorce filing is more complicated and time-intensive. If you do not agree on property division, child support and other legal matters – the divorce process can drag on for many more months. However, New Jersey courts have taken measures to ensure that divorce proceedings take no longer than one year (starting when the divorce complaint is filed). As always, there are some exception, typically involving high-conflict cases.
Mandatory waiting periods
Fault-based divorces in New Jersey that involve willful desertion or adultery usually require a waiting period before petitioning on those grounds. Proving the other spouses alleged misconduct can lengthen divorce proceedings considerably.
To petition for a no-fault divorce in New Jersey, the courts ask that irreconcilable differences have lasted for at least 6 months. There is no mandatory waiting period if the couple has been married for less than six months or has been living separately for a minimum of 18 months.
Tips to shorten the divorce timeline
Follow these tips to keep costs down and expedite the divorce process:
- Retain competent legal counsel to assist with all facets of divorce planning
- Try and settle as much as possible with your spouse ahead of time and meet him or her half-way
- Be 100 percent honest about your financial status, assets, debts, income and liabilities
- The more a couple can compromise and agree on specific terms, the easier the process
New Jersey divorce lawyers
The law firm of Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman, P.C. represents clients who need expert legal advocacy in all areas of matrimonial law. Safeguard your interests by partnering with experienced Bergen County divorce lawyers. Reach out today for a private consultation.
- Divorce Magazine, How Long Does It Take to Get a Divorce? https://www.divorcemag.com/blog/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-a-divorce/
- Women’s Divorce, Frequently Asked Divorce Questions https://www.womansdivorce.com/divorce-questions.html#TIME
Many women would like to revert to their maiden name after a divorce, but are not sure how it is done or whether they are expected to do it or not. Others may not be sure it is necessary, or may even want to change their last name to a third option, neither their maiden name nor their married name.
It’s good to know the answers to common questions such as these.
1. What’s the procedure for changing my name back to my maiden name after the divorce?
It’s very common for divorce decrees in both New York and New Jersey to include a provision to change one’s name back to a previous name. While this is often used by women wanting to change back to their maiden name, the provision often applies to both men and women, since some men change their names upon marriage (eg, a hyphenated last name). Signing the papers, including the provision, will change your name.
If your divorce decree doesn’t include this, you can simply legally change your name back, by following the legal procedure to change your name in your area.
2. Can I just use my maiden name without legally changing it?
Nothing is stopping you from using your maiden name if you want to, without using the divorce provision or changing it legally. But bear in mind that it must be legally changed to appear on official documents, such as your driver’s license, Social Security card, or passports. Two last names can be confusing, and even cause issues or delays in using these documents.
3. Can I use a third name of my choosing (neither my maiden nor married name?)
Sometimes, people don’t want to use their married surname, but they don’t want to use their maiden name either.
Usually, divorce provisions give only the right to revert the name back to the previous one. If that’s the case, you wouldn’t be able to choose a third name. However, you could change your name to one of your choosing via a legal name change ex divorce decree.
4. Will changing my name have any impact on the financial settlement?
Name changes have no impact on the financial settlement one receives or is responsible for in a divorce case. These are decided on completely different criteria.
If You Need a New York or New Jersey Divorce Lawyer
The experienced Rockland County and Bergen County divorce attorneys at Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman have been handling all matters pertaining to divorce for more than 40 years. We are committed to long-lasting, fair, and reliable solutions that benefit you. Call us today to schedule a confidential consultation.
- Reverting to Maiden Name. Woman’sDivorce.com. https://www.womansdivorce.com/reverting-to-maiden-name.html
- Inspiration for Starting Over. Woman’sDivorce.com. https://www.womansdivorce.com/inspiration.html