When to Call It Quits on Your Marriage

By Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman, P.C.Divorce attorney

Marriage takes commitment and is a constant work in progress. While some couples can work through the tricky and obstacle-laden terrain, others may be questioning whether it’s time to call it quits. Marriages aren’t all sunshine and buttercups. Couples will disagree, and tensions will flare.

If your relationship with a spouse has become toxic, or you are both emotionally “checked-out,” it may be time to reevaluate those vows.

The following are 7 signs your marriage might be over, based on the firsthand experience of marriage counselors, psychologists, and divorce experts.

All interactions are negative

If you find that your interactions with your spouse are almost always negative, or end in a tumultuous fight, it may be time to consider counseling and a possible separation.

One spouse is a repeat cheater

Marriage is largely founded on trust and respect, but some people are not cut out for a monogamous relationship. If your spouse has been unfaithful or blames his or her actions on your own behavior, or controlling tendencies, this is a glaring warning sign.

Your needs are no longer being fulfilled

People grow and change as individuals with the passing of time, and while it’s normal to have different passions and interests, your spouse no longer engages in or cares about what matters to you. If you are feeling unfulfilled and spending less time together, or even feel relieved to be apart – that’s a telltale sign that you’ve already disengaged.

You no longer share the same values

In some cases, both partners change so much that they no longer share the same ethical, moral, or lifestyle values, making it extremely difficult to share and appreciate common experiences.

There are no healthy compromises

Marriage requires constant communication and compromise is an essential component of any successful union. There needs to be some give-and-take, and if one partner continually refuses to make concessions – whether about finances, childrearing, or travel — you’re not in a good place.

You are not invested in saving your marriage

Fixing marital troubles is hard work, and if one partner has no interest in making an effort, or shows blatant indifference to a clearly miserable situation, it may be impossible to repair the damage already done.

You don’t agree about having kids

Having children is a lifelong dream of some and a disastrous afterthought for others. If you and your spouse are not on the same page about this sensitive topic, this can foster resentment and put you on a fast-track for an unhappy marriage.

Family law and divorce lawyers serving NY and NJ

Professional counseling can often help couples work through issues and decide whether it’s truly time to throw in the towel or not.

If you are in need of an experienced divorce lawyer in Rockland County, NY or Bergen County, NJ, reach out to the law offices of Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman, P.C. for a private consultation. Our attorneys have handled complex family law matters since 1975, and understand the sensitive process of ending a marriage. Skilled legal counsel can be invaluable — even in divorces that are uncontested.  Our lawyers can help you achieve your goals and take pride in providing responsive communication.

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