Finding Peace During Divorce

By Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman, P.C.Family Law Attorney

Woman divorcing and taking off wedding band

Divorce is one of the most challenging experiences many people go through. Maintaining personal peace throughout the process can make the present and future easier. Not only can finding mental balance help you survive the emotional upheaval, but it can lead to calmer and more level-headed decisions at a time when this is crucial.

Staying positive may not come easily at a time of stress. However, putting effort into some of the following tactics can greatly improve your outlook and, as a result, help the process go more smoothly.

Accept the things you cannot change

Maybe you were not in favor of the divorce. Perhaps you feel strongly that you want to keep something that your spouse is going to receive in the division of property. You may be bothered by any number of changes that come when you disentangle your life from your spouse’s.

Stressing over every element that you are not happy about can increase your agitation and unhappiness. Let those things go and focus on the things in which you have a say.

Maintain your support system

You may be tempted to disengage, but keeping contact with friends and relatives who provide emotional support will help you maintain your focus on the positive aspects of your life. This can be difficult if you and your spouse shared friends since those relationships may experience change as well. Putting effort into the connections that will still be in place after your divorce will cultivate stability.

Take the time to grieve

Though you may be going through the end of something, it is also an opportunity for new beginnings. You could be looking forward to a new relationship, a new place to live, even new possessions. Those new things are going to work out better for you in the long term if you first take some time out to allow yourself to grieve the loss of your marriage.

Denial, depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance. Those are all normal emotional stages after a divorce. Do not try to ignore them. Starting a new relationship or making major life changes before hitting the point of acceptance could lead to regret down the road.

Let your attorney be the bad guy

Collaborative divorces are a wonderful process for couples who have an exceptional relationship but still choose to divorce. For the more typical situation, your divorce, even if amicable, will still be adversarial. You and your spouse will not see eye-to-eye on everything. You will need to assert your rights and wishes despite the conflict.

Let your attorney handle those tough situations. When you are not personally addressing how to divide the property or details of the parenting plan, but instead leaving it to the lawyers, you and your spouse are free to be cordial when you need to interact. Reducing personal conflict this way removes some of the anxiety of the process.

Talk to a lawyer about your divorce

If you are contemplating a divorce in Rockland County or Bergen County, talk to a NY and NJ divorce lawyer at Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman. We are proud to serve clients throughout New York and New Jersey with compassion and expertise. Call today to schedule a confidential consultation to discuss your situation.

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