How Should I Tell My Spouse I Want a Divorce?

By Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman, P.C.Family Law Attorney

Divorce is one of the most mentally challenging hurdles a person can face. It can be incredibly hard if you are in a poor relationship to tell your spouse that you want to leave him or her. divorce

Often, there is still a love that exists between spouses, even when their marriage is on the rocks, as they have spent much time together, perhaps creating a family and/or gaining property and wealth.

The Huffington Post had an interesting column recently detailing the best ways to let your spouse know that you are seeking a divorce. Among the advice:

  • Don’t blindside your spouse- in most cases, it is much easier if you have tried therapy together and had discussions about your relationship prior to announcing your plans.
  • Timing is important- announcing your plans when you are calm is the best time to do it, with the Post saying the beginning of the weekend is the best period. This will allow your spouse to deal with his or her emotions prior to returning to work the following Monday, and allow him or her to find a place to stay for the weekend, as well as give him or her time to talk to friends and family members.
  • Think your words through- make sure your spouse knows that you are serious and that your words will not spark a fight—meaning they are calm, direct and kind.
  • Be safe- if you are worried about your safety or the threat of domestic violence, you should only have a conversation about divorce in front of a trusted third party, whom you both know. Otherwise, it may be in your best interest to announce your plans through legal documentation.

How Can I Get a Divorce in New York or New Jersey?

Again, divorce can be an incredibly difficult process for all parties involved. If you are thinking about divorcing your spouse, keep in mind, you will need to have excellent legal advice to work out potential issues like the division of marital assets, child custody and alimony.

Talk to our family lawyers if you are contemplating a divorce. Our attorneys have almost four decades of experience in family law negotiations and we will help you move forward—let our firm arrange your initial consultation.

Kantrowitz, Goldhamer & Graifman, P.C. – Rockland County Divorce Attorneys


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