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How Should I Tell My Spouse I Want a Divorce?

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Kantrowitz, Goldhamer, Graifman, Perlmutter & Carballo, P.C.

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Written/Reviewed By:

Barry S. Kantrowitz, Esq.

Last Updated: Jun 12, 2026

Read Time: 2 mins

Divorce is one of the most mentally challenging hurdles a person can face. It can be incredibly hard if you are in a poor relationship to tell your spouse that you want to leave him or her.

Often, there is still a love that exists between spouses, even when their marriage is on the rocks, as they have spent much time together, perhaps creating a family and/or gaining property and wealth.

The Huffington Post had an interesting column recently detailing the best ways to let your spouse know that you are seeking a divorce. Among the advice:

Don’t blindside your spouse- in most cases, it is much easier if you have tried therapy together and had discussions about your relationship prior to announcing your plans.

Timing is important- announcing your plans when you are calm is the best time to do it, with the Post saying the beginning of the weekend is the best period. This will allow your spouse to deal with his or her emotions prior to returning to work the following Monday, and allow him or her to find a place to stay for the weekend, as well as give him or her time to talk to friends and family members.

Think your words through- make sure your spouse knows that you are serious and that your words will not spark a fight—meaning they are calm, direct and kind.

Be safe- if you are worried about your safety or the threat of domestic violence, you should only have a conversation about divorce in front of a trusted third party, whom you both know. Otherwise, it may be in your best interest to announce your plans through legal documentation.

How Can I Get a Divorce in New York or New Jersey?

Again, divorce can be an incredibly difficult process for all parties involved. If you are thinking about divorcing your spouse, keep in mind, you will need to have excellent legal advice to work out potential issues like the division of marital assets, child custody and alimony.

Talk to our family lawyers if you are contemplating a divorce. Our attorneys have almost four decades of experience in family law negotiations and we will help you move forward—let our firm arrange your initial consultation.

Kantrowitz, Goldhamer, Graifman, Perlmutter & Carballo, P.C. – Rockland County Divorce Attorneys

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/04/ask-for-divorce_n_5631041.html

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   LWelsh 
 0 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. Clever and efficient.
  
 
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   Kenny Perlow 
 21 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. KGG Law, and Barry Kantrowitz in particular, set the bar high for what a thorough, practical, strategic, compassionate and smart lawyer can be. Everything about Barry's advice and representation was exemplary and the stress mitigation that resulted was invaluable. On top of that, the ultimate result Barry achieved was beyond what was reasonable to expect and we are forever grateful. Often, people say that you hire a lawyer to prevent a problem. Sometimes, unfortunately, you need an attorney to solve a problem and I could not recommend Barry and his firm any more highly in that regard.
  
 
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   Aliza Ali 
 85 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. My dad had a great experience with this law firm. From the very beginning, the team was professional, knowledgeable, and always willing to answer our questions. They kept us informed throughout the entire process and made what could have been a very stressful situation much easier to handle. We truly appreciated their dedication, honesty, and hard work. Thanks to their support, my dad felt confident every step of the way. We are very grateful for everything they did and would highly recommend this firm to anyone looking for reliable legal representation.
  
 
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   Jana Montero 
 88 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. I had a wonderful experience working with Sam Smith. He was very responsive, thorough, and easy to work with from start to finish. He walked me through everything clearly and made what started as a very stressful situation for me into something completely manageable. I would not hesitate to recommend him and the firm!
  
 
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   Mike Sakmann 
 94 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. I sought legal advice regarding an employment matter and had an excellent experience working with Sam Smith, Esq. at KGG Law. Sam was thorough, attentive, and took the time to listen carefully to my concerns before providing clear, thoughtful guidance. I appreciated the professionalism and care shown throughout the process, and I would confidently recommend KGG Law to anyone in need of legal assistance.
  
 
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   Liz Hecker 
 100 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. I can't say enough about this firm. They manage to comfort you during the whole legal process while staying professional and doing what is right. I would recommend them to anyone and also hire them again if I need legal help.
  
 
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   Brandy Miller 
 123 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. Kate is the best. She helped me very quickly, and was very attentive with all of my needs. So thankful for her
  
 
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   Mike Greenspan 
 136 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. Kate Carballo is a dedicated, passionate, and creative attorney whom I had the pleasure to lecture with at a state trial lawyer's conference. Kate's lecture demonstrated how she uses her innovative and "out-of-the-box thinking" to achieve outstanding results for her injured clients. That Kate is certified by the Supreme Court of New Jersey as a civil trial attorney is a testament to her skills, experience and commitment to excellence.
  
 
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   Jonathan Sampson 
 143 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. Was referred to KGG law by a friend and could not have asked for better legal representation. They walked me through every step of the process after my accident and began every call with “ how are you feeling” which was just one example of how much they care about their clients. They handled my case very efficiently, professionally and courteously. My attorney Kate Carballo was a rock star! So clearly experienced, she consistently made me feel at ease with the process. Highly recommend
  
 
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   Vinnie Kung 
 146 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. We had a great experience with the team at KGG Law. While it was a traumatic time for our family, they made it very easy for us and explained all of our options. They even performed due diligence to make sure that after our settlement, there would be no further issues which I think is even more important than the settlement itself. Thank you!

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How Should I Tell My Spouse I Want a Divorce?

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