      
   4.9146 reviews

How Do You Stay Positive During Separation?

Request a Case Review

Kantrowitz, Goldhamer, Graifman, Perlmutter & Carballo, P.C.

10b9db026d89119e951a851045ac17eee7784f79

Written/Reviewed By:

Barry S. Kantrowitz, Esq.

Last Updated: May 15, 2020

Read Time: 4 mins

Not many family life experiences can affect you in as many ways as a marital separation. Going from one household to two, transitioning to single parenthood, and the disruption of social support systems can pose challenges to your mental health, relationships, and financial situation. But like many of life’s trials, a positive outlook can improve the end result and make life more manageable in the meantime.

Your divorce lawyer can offer insight into more than just a legal strategy. At Kantrowitz, Goldhamer, Graifman, Perlmutter & Carballo, P.C., we have seen firsthand the benefits of maintaining a positive attitude throughout the separation or divorce process.

Maintain your focus

The things on which you focus your attention can impact how you view the rest of your world. Eliminating negative influences where possible leads to a more optimistic attitude about the trials you are going through.

Turn off the news. The constant stream of bad news can sap your energy and depress your mood.
Rely on the stabilizing influences in your life. Keep as many of the people, routines, and environments as possible the same as before. Focusing on changes tends to be unsettling, but training your sights on the consistent things will help you feel grounded.

Tend to your emotions

It is not helpful to sweep your emotions under the rug, as this can easily backfire.

Acknowledge your feelings. The strain of separation often increases stress and negative thoughts. It is okay – and beneficial – to admit the emotions you are experienced. This helps you deal with it and can allow others to assist you as well.
Grieve. The loss of a relationship may cause a series of experiences like denial, anger, and despair. This is normal. Let yourself feel those things and take comfort knowing that they are part of a normal process, and one day, you will get back to feeling like yourself again.
Accept help. You do not need to go through this alone. There are likely people ready and willing to help you. Accept the help from friends and family who offer and, if necessary, seek outside help. A religious or spiritual leader may provide helpful insights.

Get other areas of your life in order

Improving or restoring parts of your life that are causing stress can give you a “win” and help you get through the things you have less control over.

Get organized. From clutter to paperwork to everyday surroundings, when objects are in disarray, it can increase stress. Setting a goal to put things in order – and then following through – induces calmness and also helps you track down the things you will need.
Improve other areas of your life. It is a good time to improve a part of your life that may have fallen to the back burner. Exercise. Take a cooking class. Commit to get outdoors every day. Focus on getting enough sleep. Nurture a new hobby. Seeing your efforts pay off will infuse other parts of your life with optimism.
Plan for the future. Housing, routine, and parenting duties may all be changing. Do not feel pressured to make any decisions until you are farther through the emotional recovery but explore your options. Talk to family and friends about potential plans. Consider speaking with a financial adviser about moves that will secure your future.

Get help with your separation

When a marriage comes to an end, it can trigger fear, anxiety, frustration, self-doubt, anger, and plenty of other emotions. There is no one correct experience, but no matter what you are going through, finding a way to remain positive will help you get back to living your life.

Rockland County and Bergen County residents have unlimited opportunities around them. While you are taking advantage of the local resources to maintain your outlook, also reach out to a skilled divorce law firm.

The New York and New Jersey divorce lawyers at Kantrowitz, Goldhamer, Graifman, Perlmutter & Carballo, P.C. have guided clients through all varieties of separation, from the most amicable to the highly contentious. We are here to help you as well. Call today to schedule a private consultation with our office.

Why Trust Us?

150+ Reviews

50+ Years of Service

Full-Service Law Firm

Client Reviews

    
 
 
      Posted on Google  
   LWelsh 
 8 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. Clever and efficient.
  
 
     Posted on Google  
   Kenny Perlow 
 29 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. KGG Law, and Barry Kantrowitz in particular, set the bar high for what a thorough, practical, strategic, compassionate and smart lawyer can be. Everything about Barry's advice and representation was exemplary and the stress mitigation that resulted was invaluable. On top of that, the ultimate result Barry achieved was beyond what was reasonable to expect and we are forever grateful. Often, people say that you hire a lawyer to prevent a problem. Sometimes, unfortunately, you need an attorney to solve a problem and I could not recommend Barry and his firm any more highly in that regard.
  
 
     Posted on Google  
   Aliza Ali 
 93 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. My dad had a great experience with this law firm. From the very beginning, the team was professional, knowledgeable, and always willing to answer our questions. They kept us informed throughout the entire process and made what could have been a very stressful situation much easier to handle. We truly appreciated their dedication, honesty, and hard work. Thanks to their support, my dad felt confident every step of the way. We are very grateful for everything they did and would highly recommend this firm to anyone looking for reliable legal representation.
  
 
     Posted on Google  
   Jana Montero 
 96 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. I had a wonderful experience working with Sam Smith. He was very responsive, thorough, and easy to work with from start to finish. He walked me through everything clearly and made what started as a very stressful situation for me into something completely manageable. I would not hesitate to recommend him and the firm!
  
 
     Posted on Google  
   Mike Sakmann 
 102 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. I sought legal advice regarding an employment matter and had an excellent experience working with Sam Smith, Esq. at KGG Law. Sam was thorough, attentive, and took the time to listen carefully to my concerns before providing clear, thoughtful guidance. I appreciated the professionalism and care shown throughout the process, and I would confidently recommend KGG Law to anyone in need of legal assistance.
  
 
     Posted on Google  
   Liz Hecker 
 108 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. I can't say enough about this firm. They manage to comfort you during the whole legal process while staying professional and doing what is right. I would recommend them to anyone and also hire them again if I need legal help.
  
 
     Posted on Google  
   Brandy Miller 
 131 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. Kate is the best. She helped me very quickly, and was very attentive with all of my needs. So thankful for her
  
 
     Posted on Google  
   Mike Greenspan 
 144 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. Kate Carballo is a dedicated, passionate, and creative attorney whom I had the pleasure to lecture with at a state trial lawyer's conference. Kate's lecture demonstrated how she uses her innovative and "out-of-the-box thinking" to achieve outstanding results for her injured clients. That Kate is certified by the Supreme Court of New Jersey as a civil trial attorney is a testament to her skills, experience and commitment to excellence.
  
 
     Posted on Google  
   Jonathan Sampson 
 151 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. Was referred to KGG law by a friend and could not have asked for better legal representation. They walked me through every step of the process after my accident and began every call with “ how are you feeling” which was just one example of how much they care about their clients. They handled my case very efficiently, professionally and courteously. My attorney Kate Carballo was a rock star! So clearly experienced, she consistently made me feel at ease with the process. Highly recommend
  
 
     Posted on Google  
   Vinnie Kung 
 154 days ago
 
 
 Trustindex verifies that the original source of the review is Google. We had a great experience with the team at KGG Law. While it was a traumatic time for our family, they made it very easy for us and explained all of our options. They even performed due diligence to make sure that after our settlement, there would be no further issues which I think is even more important than the settlement itself. Thank you!

see all reviews

How Do You Stay Positive During Separation?

Why Trust Us?

Rockland County, New York

Bergen County, New Jersey